"I don't understand people with depression." Someone told me the other morning. I do. I tried to explain to them the best I could, it was a very short conversation. Have you ever had something that needed to be done (chores, homework, etc.) but had no motivation to do it. You could sit around for hours thinking about what needed to happen and never actually begin, the drive to accomplish anything has left you. Depression is like that... and more. More, because it involves the emotions. A state of heart that lacks motivation to laugh, to smile, to think good thoughts.
"Cheer up!" they say, "life's not that bad." And they're right. Life is so good right now. I live in a home with friends, I am employed and well paid, warm and fed well, I am without physical need. So why the depression? Good question. Depression is complicated. The Bible reads that anxiety leads to depression. So why, and where is the anxiety from? Right now I am in nursing school and that is very stressful. Because I am afraid of failing. Where does that come from?! Failing is a normal part of life, every one does it at some point. Am I so arrogant to think that I must always win, that I could never lose gracefully?... No... That's not the issue.
Why then the anxiety? I have never felt that my worth and significance was found in my existence. I mean by this that I never felt that I was good enough, or lovable simply because I am. I always felt the need to perform and behave to be loved and appreciated. It's true I read that Jesus loves me because He made me, and before creation was designed He decided to choose me and share His love with me through the forgiveness and mercy that comes through the thick blood spilled on the cross. I would like to decide in my heart that the voice of Truth will be louder than any other voice in my life. But when many other voices of a painful past have said verbally or by their actions contrary to His, then to believe that I am loved because I am... well, it's really stinken hard to do.
Why then the anxiety... again? Because I`m afraid that if I fail, then all the lies I believe about myself will not actually be lies at all...
Jesus, Lord of all truth, at a time when it's so difficult for me to believe the things you say about me... Speak loudly into my heart, and draw very near to me. Please, make yourself known to me. I want to know you.
Your servant,
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Tough Questions...
I have been recently asked by my mentor to write about my wounds, the emotional kind. Like a bad back from an old injury I have been familiar with the pain it caused each day, but, I could not remember the source. Not knowing where to begin it was suggested that I ask God to show me my wounds. He answered. It was the next day, while driving down the freeway that I broke down into tears. I was angry, and very hurt. By whom? The thought ran through my mind that when I am depressed I involve myself in the lives of others (for me? nope) to encourage them. I say to them the things that deep down inside I really wish someone would say to me. "I'm proud of you." or "Do you know that I value you?" to name a few. And what I realized is that I have some serious father wounds. These have now turned into some serious Father wounds. I do not believe that my dad was ever interested in having a relationship with me. Because of that I have been secretly longing for a man to invest in my life and tell me that I'm imporatant, valued, and cared for. Some one who would be there for me, but also there with me. I have not been looking for someone to give me a set of rules or guidence, but a relationship.
And the tears flowed hardest when I began to realize that I believed those same things about God. I say 'believed' but it's a fine line between the past and the present tense of the word. I was most hurt, either through projection or realization, did God care enough about me individually to invest in me? To love me? And to value, affirm, and cherish me? Before you answer with bible verses may I remind you that I know that the word teaches that if God did not spare His own Son then how would He not also freely give us all things, and that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. And how I wish that were all sufficient, it is my hope that one day it will be more than enough to know and find my rest. But right now I either don't see its truth in my life, or I am just without the intimate knowledge of these truths that will get me through a night of sorrows.
I am beginning to see that knowing and believing are not the same thing. I know the Bible teaches that God is near and never leaves nor forsakes us, but to be most transparent, I don't often believe it. Why? Because I don't experience it. Am I so shallow to think that emotions have any weight on that which is the Truth? Hardly. But I am not without my emotions. And even though I would much prefer to be an Apostle John filled with love and faith, I most often associate my self with Thomas. Uncertain, full of speculation. Where is God in my depression? Where is God in my longing? And if He is indeed the very thing my soul thirsts for, where is He that I might find Him...
Jesus, I want to know you... Please reveal yourself to me, not once, but draw near and please stay.
Your servant,
And the tears flowed hardest when I began to realize that I believed those same things about God. I say 'believed' but it's a fine line between the past and the present tense of the word. I was most hurt, either through projection or realization, did God care enough about me individually to invest in me? To love me? And to value, affirm, and cherish me? Before you answer with bible verses may I remind you that I know that the word teaches that if God did not spare His own Son then how would He not also freely give us all things, and that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. And how I wish that were all sufficient, it is my hope that one day it will be more than enough to know and find my rest. But right now I either don't see its truth in my life, or I am just without the intimate knowledge of these truths that will get me through a night of sorrows.
I am beginning to see that knowing and believing are not the same thing. I know the Bible teaches that God is near and never leaves nor forsakes us, but to be most transparent, I don't often believe it. Why? Because I don't experience it. Am I so shallow to think that emotions have any weight on that which is the Truth? Hardly. But I am not without my emotions. And even though I would much prefer to be an Apostle John filled with love and faith, I most often associate my self with Thomas. Uncertain, full of speculation. Where is God in my depression? Where is God in my longing? And if He is indeed the very thing my soul thirsts for, where is He that I might find Him...
Jesus, I want to know you... Please reveal yourself to me, not once, but draw near and please stay.
Your servant,
Sunday, January 9, 2011
The Cost of Freedom...
To help make this introduction make sense, I want to inform you that my current job is working for the certain hospital in their mental health ward.
It is interesting to tell people about what I do for a job. Different expressions ranging from appreciation to concern to the most common reaction of shock and wonder. Sadly, my explanation is often equally as varied as the responses of my listeners. I they they respond in reverence, I explain with equal reverence. If they respond in humor, I then explain in an equal sense of humor. Is this right? No. No it's not. It's not right because it does not give honor where honor is due. It's not right because it does not properly explain what I feel about the place I work.
I work with veterans, men and women who at some point in their lives decided that this country was worth their lives. I see patients who were shot in the head and have sense lost the mental capacity to function normally in society. I see patients who are homeless and have lost their families, their homes, their jobs, and all because they're mentally unstable. I see patients who are drug addicts, alcoholics, lesbians, gays, straight trans-genders, suicidal, homicidal, violent, people who hate God and people who think they are God. But the, hands down, number one symptom I witness in people who come in as my patients has to be depression. Debilitated by their own sense of worthlessness they have ceased to have any tangible value of life. Their loss was given when they're loved ones gave up on them. Their brokenness was when the nation they served betrayed them and rejected them as people. Their scars did not come from a grenade or the devastating blow of a piercing bullet, but by a knives edge carving its mark in the wrist of a broken veteran. The war is never over, ever-repeating itself in ways unnoticed by the general public. The "crazy" homeless man yelling at himself wanders the streets of Portland with no wheelchair capable of supporting a paralysed mind. This is the cost of freedom.
There was another cost for an entirely different freedom...
Being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground(a).He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. He was wounded for our transgressions; He was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the punishment that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away. He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth(b). They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand and knelt in front of him and mocked him. They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again(c). He carried our cross up a hill where the soldiers drove nails through his hands and feet, he hung there until he died and to insure his death a guard pierced his heart through his side with a spear. There is no doubt that he was dead.
And to prove that his sacrifice was acceptable to God, the Lord raised Jesus back from the dead, arguably the most important truth in all of Christianity.
This is a different, more excellent and most desireable freedom, that only comes through faith in the very death and resurrection of the God who went through all of that to put His love on display for mankind and the salvation of all who will believe.
Freedom cost God everything-- and me nothing-- so that I might have everything and forever be with God.
Thank you Jesus,
(a) Luke 22
(b) Selected verse of Isaiah 53.
(c) Matthew 27
It is interesting to tell people about what I do for a job. Different expressions ranging from appreciation to concern to the most common reaction of shock and wonder. Sadly, my explanation is often equally as varied as the responses of my listeners. I they they respond in reverence, I explain with equal reverence. If they respond in humor, I then explain in an equal sense of humor. Is this right? No. No it's not. It's not right because it does not give honor where honor is due. It's not right because it does not properly explain what I feel about the place I work.
I work with veterans, men and women who at some point in their lives decided that this country was worth their lives. I see patients who were shot in the head and have sense lost the mental capacity to function normally in society. I see patients who are homeless and have lost their families, their homes, their jobs, and all because they're mentally unstable. I see patients who are drug addicts, alcoholics, lesbians, gays, straight trans-genders, suicidal, homicidal, violent, people who hate God and people who think they are God. But the, hands down, number one symptom I witness in people who come in as my patients has to be depression. Debilitated by their own sense of worthlessness they have ceased to have any tangible value of life. Their loss was given when they're loved ones gave up on them. Their brokenness was when the nation they served betrayed them and rejected them as people. Their scars did not come from a grenade or the devastating blow of a piercing bullet, but by a knives edge carving its mark in the wrist of a broken veteran. The war is never over, ever-repeating itself in ways unnoticed by the general public. The "crazy" homeless man yelling at himself wanders the streets of Portland with no wheelchair capable of supporting a paralysed mind. This is the cost of freedom.
There was another cost for an entirely different freedom...
Being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground(a).He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. He was wounded for our transgressions; He was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the punishment that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away. He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth(b). They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand and knelt in front of him and mocked him. They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again(c). He carried our cross up a hill where the soldiers drove nails through his hands and feet, he hung there until he died and to insure his death a guard pierced his heart through his side with a spear. There is no doubt that he was dead.
And to prove that his sacrifice was acceptable to God, the Lord raised Jesus back from the dead, arguably the most important truth in all of Christianity.
This is a different, more excellent and most desireable freedom, that only comes through faith in the very death and resurrection of the God who went through all of that to put His love on display for mankind and the salvation of all who will believe.
Freedom cost God everything-- and me nothing-- so that I might have everything and forever be with God.
Thank you Jesus,
(a) Luke 22
(b) Selected verse of Isaiah 53.
(c) Matthew 27
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
It's Alive...
For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews IV:12
One of the things I like most about reading the Scripture is that it's alive. It speaks in ways that ring different to my soul, and convicts me like nothing else I've ever known. When I am left to my own self examination I am caught up in a wave of self pity and condemnation. Dismay is a word that would properly describe the thoughts that are often associated it with my depression. But the word of God is so the very opposite of my thinking. It corrects my thinking, it strips the errors of my mind and replenishes my head with God's thoughts. It is when I am not in the Scripture that I begin to think and feel and worry myself with what goes in the world about me. And even when I am shrinking away from God the Scripture speaks truth into my life and redirects me towards my Maker.
The Bible teaches that God in is holy wisdom, made man in his very image. A finite creature would become responsible for bearing the very image of the Living God and have a relationship with Him. Man chose rather to defy the authority of God and live his own life, in all the same way we often live our lives today. As a result God frustrated the hearts of man in regards to our relationships, with animals, each other and even God himself. The same holy God could not have anything to do with the things that are in contradiction to himself, ie that which is unholy. But as a loving God, He chose to not leave us in our depravity but in His master plan was going to provide a way for us to be reunited to the original purpose.
His plan, being Jesus himself, came to earth teaching some very frustrating things,
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder,a and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell."
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew V:20-22; 27-28
This is frustrating because if moral perfection is the means by which we get to heaven, then all of us are guilty and worthy of Hell. Even if we could clean up our lives and turn from all sin and live a "moral" life... we could still do nothing to clear the guilt of our past, a past we are still very much responsible for. Matthew V:20-22; 27-28
Why would God frustrate us? To draw us closer to Himself. This life is not impossible with Jesus, only alone is living well, by His standards, a very impossible thing to do.
In my sin I seek to hide myself, sin always causes isolation, but the word of God brings the light of God into my heart and reveals the darkness therein. But this is never to my despair, the Light loving leads me to repentance.
Thank you Jesus for giving us Your word, for caring enough about your creation to not leave us in the dark as to your character and will, but choosing rather to reveal yourself to us through this book. I ask that You open eyes that are shut, ears that are deaf, and hearts that are stone cold and bring life back into the dead. I pray for myself in this as well, i know how much i need you, but i am so easily entertained by the world that i live in, draw close to me father, be my ever present help when I'm in trouble.
Amen.
One of the things I like most about reading the Scripture is that it's alive. It speaks in ways that ring different to my soul, and convicts me like nothing else I've ever known. When I am left to my own self examination I am caught up in a wave of self pity and condemnation. Dismay is a word that would properly describe the thoughts that are often associated it with my depression. But the word of God is so the very opposite of my thinking. It corrects my thinking, it strips the errors of my mind and replenishes my head with God's thoughts. It is when I am not in the Scripture that I begin to think and feel and worry myself with what goes in the world about me. And even when I am shrinking away from God the Scripture speaks truth into my life and redirects me towards my Maker.
The Bible teaches that God in is holy wisdom, made man in his very image. A finite creature would become responsible for bearing the very image of the Living God and have a relationship with Him. Man chose rather to defy the authority of God and live his own life, in all the same way we often live our lives today. As a result God frustrated the hearts of man in regards to our relationships, with animals, each other and even God himself. The same holy God could not have anything to do with the things that are in contradiction to himself, ie that which is unholy. But as a loving God, He chose to not leave us in our depravity but in His master plan was going to provide a way for us to be reunited to the original purpose.
His plan, being Jesus himself, came to earth teaching some very frustrating things,
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder,a and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell."
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew V:20-22; 27-28
This is frustrating because if moral perfection is the means by which we get to heaven, then all of us are guilty and worthy of Hell. Even if we could clean up our lives and turn from all sin and live a "moral" life... we could still do nothing to clear the guilt of our past, a past we are still very much responsible for. Matthew V:20-22; 27-28
Why would God frustrate us? To draw us closer to Himself. This life is not impossible with Jesus, only alone is living well, by His standards, a very impossible thing to do.
In my sin I seek to hide myself, sin always causes isolation, but the word of God brings the light of God into my heart and reveals the darkness therein. But this is never to my despair, the Light loving leads me to repentance.
Thank you Jesus for giving us Your word, for caring enough about your creation to not leave us in the dark as to your character and will, but choosing rather to reveal yourself to us through this book. I ask that You open eyes that are shut, ears that are deaf, and hearts that are stone cold and bring life back into the dead. I pray for myself in this as well, i know how much i need you, but i am so easily entertained by the world that i live in, draw close to me father, be my ever present help when I'm in trouble.
Amen.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Thy Kingdom Come...
"The Kingdom of God is simply the place where God's will is being done." John Mark Comer - Solid Rock
Living for Jesus and allowing His kingdom to reign in my heart and mind was never something I could accomplish on my own. Neither is this something God does alone. Jesus says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." John XV:5
What fruit do we bear?
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Galatians V:22-23a
Loving those who love us is easy, loving our enemies is hard. Being happy is not difficult, having joy in all circumstances and trials comes from God. We don't white knuckle our way through life struggling for self control, that eventually fails. Neither can we produce true patience by clamping our teeth together and smiling. We can pretend that we're good, but wholesome goodness only comes from Jesus.
But I will often, and stupidly so, try to produce good fruit by my own strength. And the result? Ugliness. I don't suppose anyone can truly be a desciple of Messiah if they never read about Him. I mean the four gospels, the only authorataive writing on the life, ministry, death and ressurection of Jesus Christ. But to be honest I can't remember the last time i sat down and read one of them from beginning to end without interuption. That needs to change.
As I look back at 2010 I see a life that was for the most part me expanding my kingdom and living for Jason. I don't want to see this in 2011, I want this year to be a year marked by humility and submission to Jesus Christ and obedience to His word through daily devotion. I want to see His kingdom, where His will is done, in my life.
"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." Matthew VI:9-13
Living for Jesus and allowing His kingdom to reign in my heart and mind was never something I could accomplish on my own. Neither is this something God does alone. Jesus says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." John XV:5
What fruit do we bear?
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Galatians V:22-23a
Loving those who love us is easy, loving our enemies is hard. Being happy is not difficult, having joy in all circumstances and trials comes from God. We don't white knuckle our way through life struggling for self control, that eventually fails. Neither can we produce true patience by clamping our teeth together and smiling. We can pretend that we're good, but wholesome goodness only comes from Jesus.
But I will often, and stupidly so, try to produce good fruit by my own strength. And the result? Ugliness. I don't suppose anyone can truly be a desciple of Messiah if they never read about Him. I mean the four gospels, the only authorataive writing on the life, ministry, death and ressurection of Jesus Christ. But to be honest I can't remember the last time i sat down and read one of them from beginning to end without interuption. That needs to change.
As I look back at 2010 I see a life that was for the most part me expanding my kingdom and living for Jason. I don't want to see this in 2011, I want this year to be a year marked by humility and submission to Jesus Christ and obedience to His word through daily devotion. I want to see His kingdom, where His will is done, in my life.
"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." Matthew VI:9-13
Pride...
This one sin is most ugly. Hiding behind every other sin, it rests quietly in the shadows of my being, never accused, never repented of. Which is easier, to blame that which brought about the temptation, or to blame the sinful nature that allowed temptation to mature? i.e. myself. Pride is so ugly because it's so not very obvious.
When I'm afraid of what other people will think or say; pride.
When I'm insulted by the way someone treated me; pride.
When I begin to think that I'm better than somebody else; pride.
When I'm impressed by my own spirituality; pride.
When I think I know more than you, so I don't even bother to listen; pride.
When I think I can have victory over sin, without the help of God; PRIDE.
The last two I experience this week in bad ways. I did not want to listen to the wisdom of a friend because I had previously read this bible passage, I knew what he was talking about and where he was going with the conversation. Looking back on what he had to say, and what happened next in my life, I really should have paid more attention.
It is even more deceitful because it can effect every area of our life. I often only think of pride in the form of anger and spitefulness towards God usually expressed in people we call atheist. But what about the pride within the gates of religion? Remember the Romans who abused grace and used it as a means to sin more? This was centered around pride. How about the way we're not totally honest? Or perhaps when we come to church with nice clothes and a fake smile plastered on our faces? Or the way we talk more about our accomplishments, position and car we drive then we talk about our struggles and our hardships? Pride keeps us from being the people God wants us to be.
Father, I confess this sin to You. And I ask most sincerely that You help me recognize it and forsake it. When I stand without You, I fall. When I fall before You, You help me stand. Jesus I want to live Your way, I need Your help. Please guide me, Amen.
When I'm afraid of what other people will think or say; pride.
When I'm insulted by the way someone treated me; pride.
When I begin to think that I'm better than somebody else; pride.
When I'm impressed by my own spirituality; pride.
When I think I know more than you, so I don't even bother to listen; pride.
When I think I can have victory over sin, without the help of God; PRIDE.
The last two I experience this week in bad ways. I did not want to listen to the wisdom of a friend because I had previously read this bible passage, I knew what he was talking about and where he was going with the conversation. Looking back on what he had to say, and what happened next in my life, I really should have paid more attention.
It is even more deceitful because it can effect every area of our life. I often only think of pride in the form of anger and spitefulness towards God usually expressed in people we call atheist. But what about the pride within the gates of religion? Remember the Romans who abused grace and used it as a means to sin more? This was centered around pride. How about the way we're not totally honest? Or perhaps when we come to church with nice clothes and a fake smile plastered on our faces? Or the way we talk more about our accomplishments, position and car we drive then we talk about our struggles and our hardships? Pride keeps us from being the people God wants us to be.
Father, I confess this sin to You. And I ask most sincerely that You help me recognize it and forsake it. When I stand without You, I fall. When I fall before You, You help me stand. Jesus I want to live Your way, I need Your help. Please guide me, Amen.
Friday, December 31, 2010
What do I mean, God is Love?
Brother, "Jason, I don't understand the love of God."
"I don't either."
Brother, "That's okay."
Jesus said, "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."
I might argue that Jesus did not love us, but rather He only had a respect for us stirred by admiration that caused Him to die on the cross. Respect in its nature is always upward. You might say you respect someone in a higher position, or you might say you respect someone because they had done a more honorable deed than was expected. Respect is always reserved for something better or best that you see in a person or thing. But how does the Greatest Good in all the universe have any respect for mankind? He is called perfect, while we are not. He is forever, the bible says our life is a vapor. He is good, we are evil. He is independent, we are entirely dependant on all things. This list would continue indefinitely, we are completely insignificant in the presence of God. So there would be nothing higher in us, nothing then inside worthy of the respect from God. This answer will not do.
I might also argue that God only has a love that is disconnected from us. When a soldier says that he fights for the people of his country, he does not mean this personally. By that I mean to say he perhaps dies for the people he loves, to protect their freedoms, such as freedom of religion or speech, but not for those he hates. His view of America is limited to his selected or neglected view of Americans. I say this because a man who lays down his life thinks of those worth laying his life down for, ex. friends and family. But such a man does not consider with his final breath that he is dying for the pedophiles, rapist, or serial killers. In such a way we might consider that God died for all of man kind but in a like manner it was impersonal and disconnected. But the bible says that while we were still enemies of God, He died for us. And all throughout scripture it makes mention that God searches the hearts of man. So the Bible is clear, we are perfectly and completely known by God. This answer will not do either.
Since God is all knowing, than that means he knows what I thought last night. He knows the evil in my heart. He knows the things in me that offend Him, the things that are disgusting to Him, the things that I think, feel and do that make me worthy of being called His enemy. I can justify my wrongs, ignore the guilt, even decieve myself, but I can't lie to Almighty God. And it is with this most personal knowledge of who I am that He climbed up a hill and was nailed to a cross. Why? Because God is love. God is the greatest good in all the universe. He is not better, he is the best. Nothing is above Him. And like you would expect from a good Father, He wants nothing but the absolute best for us, and He can give us nothing better than Himself. If he were to give us anything less it would not be perfect love, only compassion. But before He could give himself to us, He had to give himself for us. Had he not died, then I would remain His enemy. But as it stands, the one who hated God with his life is now considered His son. To call this anything but pure love is to do it injustice.
"For one will scarcely die for a righteous person--though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die--but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans V:7-8
Jesus it causes me great depression to acknowledge my own hypocrisy, but i want to acknowledge it still. I confess that what i think about you and what i believe about you are often worlds apart, and my actions show it. Nothing is more brutally honest than my own reflection found in your word, and often where i find myself described is not where I'd like to be. I pray that you close that chasm and make me more like you and much much less than i find myself to be. Amen.
"I don't either."
Brother, "That's okay."
Jesus said, "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."
I might argue that Jesus did not love us, but rather He only had a respect for us stirred by admiration that caused Him to die on the cross. Respect in its nature is always upward. You might say you respect someone in a higher position, or you might say you respect someone because they had done a more honorable deed than was expected. Respect is always reserved for something better or best that you see in a person or thing. But how does the Greatest Good in all the universe have any respect for mankind? He is called perfect, while we are not. He is forever, the bible says our life is a vapor. He is good, we are evil. He is independent, we are entirely dependant on all things. This list would continue indefinitely, we are completely insignificant in the presence of God. So there would be nothing higher in us, nothing then inside worthy of the respect from God. This answer will not do.
I might also argue that God only has a love that is disconnected from us. When a soldier says that he fights for the people of his country, he does not mean this personally. By that I mean to say he perhaps dies for the people he loves, to protect their freedoms, such as freedom of religion or speech, but not for those he hates. His view of America is limited to his selected or neglected view of Americans. I say this because a man who lays down his life thinks of those worth laying his life down for, ex. friends and family. But such a man does not consider with his final breath that he is dying for the pedophiles, rapist, or serial killers. In such a way we might consider that God died for all of man kind but in a like manner it was impersonal and disconnected. But the bible says that while we were still enemies of God, He died for us. And all throughout scripture it makes mention that God searches the hearts of man. So the Bible is clear, we are perfectly and completely known by God. This answer will not do either.
Since God is all knowing, than that means he knows what I thought last night. He knows the evil in my heart. He knows the things in me that offend Him, the things that are disgusting to Him, the things that I think, feel and do that make me worthy of being called His enemy. I can justify my wrongs, ignore the guilt, even decieve myself, but I can't lie to Almighty God. And it is with this most personal knowledge of who I am that He climbed up a hill and was nailed to a cross. Why? Because God is love. God is the greatest good in all the universe. He is not better, he is the best. Nothing is above Him. And like you would expect from a good Father, He wants nothing but the absolute best for us, and He can give us nothing better than Himself. If he were to give us anything less it would not be perfect love, only compassion. But before He could give himself to us, He had to give himself for us. Had he not died, then I would remain His enemy. But as it stands, the one who hated God with his life is now considered His son. To call this anything but pure love is to do it injustice.
"For one will scarcely die for a righteous person--though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die--but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans V:7-8
Jesus it causes me great depression to acknowledge my own hypocrisy, but i want to acknowledge it still. I confess that what i think about you and what i believe about you are often worlds apart, and my actions show it. Nothing is more brutally honest than my own reflection found in your word, and often where i find myself described is not where I'd like to be. I pray that you close that chasm and make me more like you and much much less than i find myself to be. Amen.
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