16. My Pride.

“Pride goes before destruction,
and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
Proverbs 16:18

Jesus, after a talk with a friend You have given me a better understanding of myself. My pride, my idolatry, my self worship... all competing for Your glory. You tell me to deny myself and take up my cross daily and follow You and if I desire to save my life than I will lose it (Matthew 16:24-25a). To deny myself? To give up on my life, and forsake everything I thought I ever wanted... to run from anything that is against Your holy and perfect will for my life. It all sounds so easy, but its not, its my cross, to say 'not my will but your be done' is the most difficult thing i have to do, yet i must do it. I have lived for myself and still do, it has brought nothing but pain and suffering and a life apart from You. All joy and peace on earth is found in You, to not live for You is foolishness. You are Lord, and I can do all things since You provide the strength. Lord, look deep into my soul, purge me of all unrighteousness and cleanse me form my secret faults. The more I seek you, the more I realize how much my righteousness is nothing but filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). I am dead apart from Your love, lost without Your sacrifice. If you had not died on the cross to offer me the free gift of salvation, I would be a dead man. Change this heart, O God, make it new. Transform it from the deposit of garbage that it has become and renew it into a wellspring of life. My heart is stagnant and putrid in my sin, save me and lead me to my knees in surrender. Thank You, Jesus, that it is by Your righteousness pored out on us that we may fall before You and worship at Your feet. May I die to myself and honor You all the days of my life never to disown You, only to serve. Please put to death the man I am and begin to live in me once again.

“O my soul, you have said to the LORD,
You are my Lord,
My goodness is nothing apart from You.”
Psalm 16:2
Amen.